Ian Estabrook

How to Stop Feeling Anxious and Dissatisfied

Wanna increase your chances of being anxious, depressed, and dissatisfied with life?

Spend more time on screens.

A study of over two hundred thousand people published in The Psychiatric Quarterly found that “heavy” screen time and digital media use – 5+ hours per day – was correlated with decreased happiness, lower self-esteem, and dissatisfaction with life.

And this wasn’t just limited to social media; passive media consumption – like having the news on in the background or scrolling feeds to kill time – also had negative impacts on mental health.

The more time we spend on screens, the more likely we’ll be exposed to negativity, or compare ourselves to others on social media, or just downright overload our brains with information.

I can hear my fellow tech workers nervously laughing in the distance…

So… are we doomed?

Thankfully not. The study’s findings have a silver lining.

“Light” users of screens and digital media – less than 1 hour per day – reported the highest levels of well-being. This was even higher than people who didn’t use screens at all.

As with most things… The poison is in the dose.

When I work with my coaching clients at Google or in other tech companies, one of their biggest sources of stress is how much time they’re on their computers, smartphones, and digital media overall.

They wake up and check their phones.
They scroll or respond to emails on their commutes.
They work on their laptops from 9 to 5.
They take their phones to lunch and scroll social media to “take a mental break.”
They scroll on their phones on their commute home.
They put YouTube or TV on passively in the background while making dinner.
And they check their phones all the way up to just before bed.

By the way, I’ve 100% been guilty of this behavior, too.

8 years ago, it got so bad that I compulsively deleted my Instagram account – data and all – to go cold turkey.

So, what can we do to reduce our screen time and improve our happiness, well-being, and feel more satisfied with our lives?

Here are a few habits that have helped my clients sleep better, stress less, and feel great:

To sleep better, use a wind-down routine that includes turning off screens at least 30m before bed.

To lower stress, especially during the workday, step away from your screens for 3-5 minutes, sit somewhere quiet, and breathe deeply.

To totally “reset,” close your laptop, turn off your phone, and go for a walk, read, or spend time on a hobby.

Today, try and spend a bit less time on screens, even if it’s just 5 minutes. Your happiness, well-being, and life will thank you.

Now, log off and enjoy your day.

Ian

What Does “Eating Healthy” Mean?

Before we dive into today’s article: I have a client graduating from my coaching program in 2 weeks, which means there’s a spot opening up soon. If you want to look, feel, and perform your best in areas of life you care most about, check out how I can help you you do that here and apply today.

Stop me if you’ve ever heard this health and fitness advice before:

“Ya just gotta eat healthier.”

Lose weight? Eat healthier.

Build muscle? Eat healthier.

Peace on Earth? Eat healthier.

Cool. Thanks, dude.

If someone tells you to “just eat healthier” to reach your goals, that’s basically as useful as saying nothing at all. It’s too vague and means different things to different people.

So, let’s look at what a healthy meal actually looks like.

Whether you’re trying to gain muscle, lose weight, or eat a more balanced diet, you can’t go wrong with building your meals like this:

4-8oz of lean protein, such as meat, fish, or vegetarian options like seitan, tofu, or tempeh

1-2 cupped handfuls of fiber-rich carbs, such as grains, legumes, or fruit

1 cup or more of colorful veggies, like spinach, tomatoes, aubergine, etc.

1-2 tbsp of healthy fats, such as olive oil, nuts, or seeds

This approach is what I use to help my coaching clients transform their diets and reach their goals – from losing 40lbs. to running personal bests in marathons.

Why does building meals like this make them healthy?

Lean protein helps build muscle, burn fat, and strengthen your immune system

Fiber-rich carbs help keep you full and improve gut health

Colorful veggies have a ton of vitamins and nutrients to improve overall health

Healthy fats support hormone function

If you eat like this 80% or more of the time, you’ll build great health and look, feel, and perform at your best.

If you’re struggling to meat healthier and are overwhelmed by all the nutritional info out there, reply to this email or leave a comment and let’s chat about simplifying your diet.

Love you lots. Have a great week.

Ian

How To Make Good Habits Stick

Struggling to make good habits stick? Try this:

Don’t optimize for perfection.

Optimize for “good enough.”

“Good enough” is where sustainable progress happens.

It’s the mindsets and behaviors you can keep up for weeks, months, and even years.

In other words, good enough enables consistency, and consistency enables results.

As the very-wise Brian Barthelt reminded me the other week, momentum is a powerful thing – and momentum is best maintained by being “good enough” as consistently as you can for as long as you can.

So, how can you start optimizing for “good enough?” Try this:

Pick a Goal. Any goal will do, but I’m partial to one that’s related to improving your health and lowering your stress (and if you need personalized support and accountability, I can help – send me an email). Let’s say your goal is to start taking a daily 30 minute walk.

Then, think about some Skills that you either have or need to build in order to reach that goal. For your daily walk goal, the skill you need is time management. Daily walks won’t happen unless we make the time; making time happens when you effectively manage your time.

After that, figure out how to practice a small, daily Action to help you build that skill. This is something that you can do every day with a high degree of confidence. In the case of practicing effective time management to build your daily walking habit, this small daily action could be a 5 minute calendar review in the morning, so you can book time each day for your walk.

Now, once you have your Goal, Skill, and small daily Action outlined, ask yourself…

“How confident am I on a scale of 1 to 10 that I can do my small, daily action every day for the next 2 weeks?”

If you’re anything LESS than a 9 or 10 out of 10 confident… make your small daily action even EASIER to do.

If you can’t do 5 minutes… can you do 3? How about 1?

If 30 minutes is too long for your daily walk, can you do 20 minutes? 15 minutes?

In the end, you want your small daily action to be SO easy that you could do it even on your worst days.

Therein lies the magic of optimizing for “good enough.”

When you make healthy lifestyle practices so easy that you can do them consistently for a LONG time – even on your worst days – you build the momentum that countless people around the world WISH they had.

Hope this helps. Now, go be good enough this week.

If you need some support in building your own Goal, Skill, and daily Action plan, reach out and let’s walk through it together.

Love you lots,

❤️ Ian

P.S. Here’s a photo from my “good enough” home workout the other week. I had a busy week, but that wasn’t going to stop me from breaking my workout goal down to something I could fit in no matter what. 😉

Focusing on THIS Might be Sabotaging Your Health

“Oh, screw you, Apple Watch,” I muttered to myself after this morning’s workout.

It’s the final week of a training plan I’ve been following consistently for months.

I had just spent the last hour banging out rows, push ups, and lunges, pushing each set close to muscular failure and setting new personal bests.

My heart rate got as high as 160 beats per minute.

Yet my Apple Watch had the nerve to say, “Hey, that’s a good start for moving today.”

Do you own a WHOOP, an Apple Watch, or similar technology that tracks your health and fitness?

I do. And I know a lot of people who do, both in Google and across tech and other industries.

Like me, they’re ambitious, health-conscious, and analytical.

They care about their health and want to be informed about what’s happening with their bodies. That’s great! I think wearables have a lot of potential to help.

But while technology can be valuable, there’s a hidden “danger” to your health and wellbeing in them:

Outcomes.

Lemme explain…

Have you ever been stressed out after not hitting your daily step count, missing your calorie goal, or clocking a sub-optimal “sleep score?”

I have. Hell, I know people who basically organize their lives around this data.

But here’s the thing… Outcomes aren’t guaranteed and can leave you feeling demotivated if you don’t achieve them.

There’s no better way to ensure you DON’T make progress than giving up just because you didn’t stand up enough today.

Instead, do what I do with my coaching clients – people from around the world who have lost fat, gained muscle, and built healthy lifestyle habits:

Focus on BEHAVIORS instead of outcomes.

Instead of hitting a fixed step count, focus on taking a walk each day
Instead of optimizing your micronutients, focus on eating 5 servings of fruits and veggies each day
Instead of trying to achieve a certain sleep score and time spent in REM sleep, focus on practicing a sleep ritual that helps you wind down and fall asleep easily each day

Notice that behaviors are typically IN your control. Outcomes aren’t.

But your behaviors make it much MORE likely you’ll hit those outcomes.

They’re also healthy, sustainable ways to improve and maintain your health for life – not a metric that might get phased out in the next software update.

So, if you’ve been focusing on outcomes and feeling stressed about your health lately, maybe it’s time to leave the Apple Watch at home for your next workout.

Don’t let outcomes dictate your behaviors and feelings.

Focus on doing your best, whatever that looks like, as consistently as you can.

I promise your health will thank you for it.

Love you lots. Have a great week.

❤️ Ian

Are You Letting THIS Determine Your Success and Happiness?

Last week, I was at my Google team’s holiday dinner and ended up chatting with our head of YouTube.

She mentioned she’s read my articles and worked with a trainer before… but it wasn’t very successful.

“Our schedules never aligned,” she said. “He wanted to work together 5 times a week, but given my family and work obligations, we usually made it to the gym 2 times a week, on average.”

She also said she felt like she “should’ve been doing more” and wasn’t hitting her goal… even though she was building strength and forming an exercise habit.

“Ultimately, I had to move on because it wasn’t working.”

Her story is a great example of a powerful force in our lives that can help or hinder our growth, whether we’re looking to form an exercise habit, learn a new skill, or make time for friends and hobbies…

Expectations

When she hired her trainer, her expectation was that she would go to the gym 5 times a week.

Then, her expectations met reality.

Because of her busy schedule, she COULDN’T go to the gym 5 times per week, even if she wanted to.

Yet she still FELT like she should, meaning – in her mind – she wasn’t making progress.

That’s a shitty place to be – thinking you CAN and SHOULD do more than you’re doing. All that does is invalidate the time and effort you ARE putting in.

But what if we reframed our expectations?

Let’s assume she worked with her trainer for a year to help her build an exercise habit. She wanted to go to the gym 5 times a week, but went 2 times a week, on average.

2 workouts a week over the course of a year means she would’ve completed 104 workouts that year… compared to ZERO workouts the year before.

So… did she make progress?

I guess it depends on your expectations.

And that’s what I want to encourage you all to think about this week:

Are your expectations and actions aligned with your life circumstances?

And when I say life circumstances, I mean your ACTUAL life circumstances – not the perfect, idealized versions we carry around in our heads. (Spoiler alert: I’m a multi-millionaire with ripped abs in my head).

To answer this question, think about something you’re trying to accomplish. Then, ask yourself, “How’s this working for me?”

Maybe your initial expectations didn’t match your circumstances, and they need to be adjusted to regain clarity, perspective, and motivation to start taking action again.

On the flip side, maybe your expectations were perfectly set and everything’s hunky-dory. Awesome! How can you do more of what’s working?

Regardless of where you are, be aware of the expectations you set for yourself and how they’re helping – or hindering – your life.

When your expectations match your reality, you’ll look better, feel better, and be less stressed, which means you can show up more fully in the areas and with the people you care about.

Hey, sounds like progress to me.

Love you lots. Have a great week.

❤️ Ian

How to “Go Pro” in Your Life

Aaaaaand just like that, my free coaching call spots are gone!

I’m so grateful and excited to connect with everyone and help them improve their health, lower their stress, and feel confident heading into the new year.

If you’re interested in a free coaching call when I open them up again in the future, simply reply to this email. I read them all and am happy to chat and help.

In the meantime, here’s something to reflect on this week…

Are you “going pro” on the right things in your life?

Here’s what I mean:

You probably follow professional athletes or influencers across a variety of sports and industries. Think people like Tom Brady, Andrew Huberman, or Sheryl Sandberg.

Most of them have complex daily routines and habits:

🏋 Tailored exercise programs
🥗 Meticulous diets
📆 Optimized schedules
💊 Specific supplementation

These are done for one reason: to help them excel at the highest level in their chosen field. All of them apply a mindset of focus, consistency, and quality to these and all other areas in their lives.

A lot of us have probably tried to copy them to see if we could experience similar benefits (I know I have – doesn’t everyone want to be able to focus like Huberman?).

The thing is… we’ll probably never become professional athletes or C-suite executives – and that’s okay!

What’s more, what we see online – the well-curated daily routine videos or pitches for Athletic Greens – AREN’T what makes these people top performers. They’re the “tip” of the iceberg, accounting for a small percentage of their success.

So, are we doomed to mediocrity?

Hell no!

We are fully capable of living healthy, high-performing lives.

That’s because we can apply the same mindset of focus, consistency, and quality as these top performers… but we need to apply it to the RIGHT areas: the ones that have been proven to help us look, feel, and perform our best.

What are those areas?

😴 Sleeping 7 to 9 hours each night
🥗 Eating mostly whole, nutritious foods, like lean protein, fruits, and veggies
🏃 Moving as much as you can in ways you enjoy
🏋 Practicing strength training at least 2x per week
🫂 Making time for hobbies & connecting with loved ones
🧘‍♀️ Keeping stress levels low through active recovery

These are the areas I focus on with my coaching clients. By helping them excel on the basics, they improve their health, lower their stress, and feel empowered. In other words, they “go pro.”

If you focus on nailing the basics above, you’ll reap the benefits and “go pro” in your own life, too.

And if you need some help? My coaching program is OPEN and accepting new clients before the end of the year.

Send me an email or register your interest here to get the party started.

Love you lots,

❤️ Ian

How to Indulge Guilt-Free this Holiday Season

Before we begin: there are still a few spots left for my free, 30 minute coaching call offer this week. Once they’re gone, they’re gone. If you’re on the fence, book now and take the first step towards improving your health and lowering your stress.

“Damn, those look good,” I said as I walked through our microkitchen at Google.

🍩 Staring back at me were two boxes of big, festive donuts… one of my “trigger foods.”

I paused for a moment.

It was 4:19 p.m. – that “no man’s land” between lunch and dinner where cravings can strike, whether due to boredom or actual hunger.

It’s also the holiday season – meaning treats are everywhere – as well as Black Friday week, so work has been crazy, my sleep has been “meh,” and I’m more stressed than usual.

🤔 So… did I eat a donut?

Nope. Not this time.

But that doesn’t mean I NEVER eat them.

I chose not to eat a donut because I’ve built the skills and mindsets that help me maintain control around my trigger foods. (These are the same skills my coaching clients build when we work together, and they keep them for life).

Here are 5 things I’ve learned that will help you navigate the holiday season’s sweets, treats, and everything in between:

Change Your Language

Instead of looking at food and saying, “That’s bad,” try saying, “That food isn’t in line with my goals right now,” or, “I tend to overeat that.” Shifting away from “all or nothing” thinking allows you to relax, be self-compassionate, and build a healthier relationship with food.

Nail the Basics

Sleep, stress management, good nutrition, and daily movement all help your body and mind feel great, meaning you’re less likely to indulge in cravings.

More Good Stuff

Instead of fighting to remove trigger foods, try “crowding them out” by eating more of the “good stuff,” like lean proteins, fruits, and veggies.

Outta Sight, Outta Mind

Sometimes, ya just gotta keep the trigger foods out of your house. If you don’t have them at home, you’re less likely to go through all the steps necessary to buy them and eat them.

Enjoy It

I mentioned before that just because I didn’t eat a donut now doesn’t mean I never eat them. When I do, it’s an intentional choice, and I enjoy the hell out of it. I eat it slowly, savoring the flavors and feelings it gives me – no guilt, no compensation.

So, if you’re having some holiday sweets today, remember these 5 tips.

They’ll make those sweets taste a hell of a lot better.

Love you lots,

❤️ Ian

P.S. If you’re struggling with behaviors and mindsets around trigger foods, I can help. Reserve a 30 minute coaching call with me – free of charge. You’ll walk away with 1 to 3 key actions and mindsets you can apply to your life right now to improve your health, lower your stress, and feel in control.

Your Free Ticket to Better Health

It’s Black Friday week (or month, or year… it keeps getting longer).

You’re probably getting bombarded with people, companies, and brands trying to sell you stuff.

“Black Friday deals! Mega discounts! Sale sale sale!”

Not me.

In fact, I’m gonna do the opposite: I’m giving you something for free.

I’m reserving five, 30 minute coaching calls – this week only – to help you improve your health. Totally free, no strings attached.

On your call, we’ll cover what’s most important to you and your health right now and explore what’s holding you back from making progress.

By the end, you’ll walk away with 1 to 3 key actions you can take to improve your health, lower your stress, and feel in control.

If you’re interested, simply fill in this short form and I’ll be in touch.

Once the 5 spots are gone, they’re gone.

Let’s help you feel awesome – for free. No strings attached.

Love you lots and looking forward to chatting with you soon.

❤️ Ian

You Don’t Need More Discipline

Here’s something you’ve probably said to yourself before:

“If only I was more disciplined, I’d be able to… [insert life goal here].”

Sound familiar? It does for me. I used to say it all the time whenever I’d hit a roadblock with my health, work, or personal goals.

“Stop being lazy and start being disciplined,” I’d think to myself.

But based on my experience – and my work with clients all over the world in my coaching program – I don’t agree that discipline is the magical, elusive solution we all need to become healthier, more productive, and more present with our loved ones.

Here’s what I’ve learned: you DON’T need more discipline. You need to figure out how to make what you want and need to do EASIER, so discipline isn’t necessary.

So easy, in fact, that it’s almost laughable.

“Pff, alright, Ian. Eat ONE serving of vegetables a day? Anyone can do that!”

Great. So… do it.

Then do it again the next day. And the next day, and the next day…

Then, once eating one serving of vegetables becomes as automatic as breathing, bump it up to two servings, and repeat.

Suddenly, being “disciplined” and eating well isn’t a constant fight against temptation. It’s just what you do.

You can apply this to any area of your life:

🥗 Nutrition: Eat one serving of vegetables per day.
💻 Work: Work for at least 30 minutes undistracted per day.
👫 Life: Turn my phone off when I’m spending quality time with friends and family.

Start small and build slowly over time (this philosophy is what makes my clients so successful).

I’m currently using this “make it easier” approach with my workout routine.

Right now, I’m hitting the gym twice per week.

Normally, I’d go three or four times, but that’s when my schedule is balanced, my stress is manageable, and I’m practicing other important health behaviors consistently.

But for the next month, my schedule’s packed, I’m trying to land a big project, and my team’s working out what our goals and responsibilities will look like in the new year. It’s tough for me to find the time and energy to go to the gym there or four times per week right now.

Does that mean I’m going to stop going entirely just because I can’t be “disciplined” and adhere to my perfect gym routine?

Hell no. I’ll just make it easier for now and get back to normal once things calm down.

Me hitting some cable rows during my second workout of the week.

Remember: It’s not about being more disciplined. It’s about making what you want and need to do even easier.

Today, ask yourself:

1) What’s something I think I need more discipline for, yet find myself frustrated and stuck?

And then…

2) How can I make it even easier?

Hope this helps. Have a great start to your week.

Love you lots,

❤️ Ian

P.S. Need help making what you want and need to do easier? Schedule time to connect with me. Let’s get you on the right track and making progress again.

How Pizza Taught Me a Valuable Life Lesson

“So that’s two pizzas with extra toppings, two garlic breads, four dips, and a dozen donuts – did I get that right?”

I cringed as he confirmed the order.

“Yeah,” I said, sheepishly.

“Great. It’ll be there in about an hour.”

I hung up and stared into space. This was the third time this month I’d made this call. I stood up, closed the blinds, and waited for the delivery driver. I didn’t want anyone to see me.

The shame was immense.

Stress is a funny thing.

When we practice basic health behaviors – getting enough sleep, eating well, moving in a way we enjoy, and spending time with loved ones and on hobbies – we can manage our stress. In fact, it can even help us grow.

That’s why I focus on helping my coaching clients practice these behaviors as often as possible. When they do, they feel strong, confident, and in control.

But what about when things tip over the edge, leaving us overwhelmed and unable to manage our stress?

Well, you end up like me in the situation above: finding some way – any way – to cope. And it usually isn’t good for us.

Thankfully, it’s been years since I turned to food to cope with stress and pain in my life.

If you’re in a similar place – overwhelmed, struggling to keep your head above water, and doing whatever you can to relieve your stress – I’ve been there. What you’re feeling and experiencing is NORMAL.

In fact, my experiences learning to manage my stress in healthier ways taught me a key lesson:

All behavior solves a problem.

Yes, even the “bad” ones.

When you look at it that way, those pizzas served a purpose: they provided momentary relief from my stress and pain.

Could I have dealt with it in a healthier way? Of course.

But my stress left me without the mental and emotional energy to make that better choice.

When you remind yourself that “all behavior solves a problem,” you create awareness of your circumstances and practice self compassion. You lighten your burden. You create space to make a better choice next time.

That space is your opportunity to make healthy, sustainable change in your life.

Love you lots,

❤ Ian