Last week, I was at my Google team’s holiday dinner and ended up chatting with our head of YouTube.
She mentioned she’s read my articles and worked with a trainer before… but it wasn’t very successful.
“Our schedules never aligned,” she said. “He wanted to work together 5 times a week, but given my family and work obligations, we usually made it to the gym 2 times a week, on average.”
She also said she felt like she “should’ve been doing more” and wasn’t hitting her goal… even though she was building strength and forming an exercise habit.
“Ultimately, I had to move on because it wasn’t working.”
Her story is a great example of a powerful force in our lives that can help or hinder our growth, whether we’re looking to form an exercise habit, learn a new skill, or make time for friends and hobbies…
Expectations
When she hired her trainer, her expectation was that she would go to the gym 5 times a week.
Then, her expectations met reality.
Because of her busy schedule, she COULDN’T go to the gym 5 times per week, even if she wanted to.
Yet she still FELT like she should, meaning – in her mind – she wasn’t making progress.
That’s a shitty place to be – thinking you CAN and SHOULD do more than you’re doing. All that does is invalidate the time and effort you ARE putting in.
But what if we reframed our expectations?
Let’s assume she worked with her trainer for a year to help her build an exercise habit. She wanted to go to the gym 5 times a week, but went 2 times a week, on average.
2 workouts a week over the course of a year means she would’ve completed 104 workouts that year… compared to ZERO workouts the year before.
So… did she make progress?
I guess it depends on your expectations.
And that’s what I want to encourage you all to think about this week:
Are your expectations and actions aligned with your life circumstances?
And when I say life circumstances, I mean your ACTUAL life circumstances – not the perfect, idealized versions we carry around in our heads. (Spoiler alert: I’m a multi-millionaire with ripped abs in my head).
To answer this question, think about something you’re trying to accomplish. Then, ask yourself, “How’s this working for me?”
Maybe your initial expectations didn’t match your circumstances, and they need to be adjusted to regain clarity, perspective, and motivation to start taking action again.
On the flip side, maybe your expectations were perfectly set and everything’s hunky-dory. Awesome! How can you do more of what’s working?
Regardless of where you are, be aware of the expectations you set for yourself and how they’re helping – or hindering – your life.
When your expectations match your reality, you’ll look better, feel better, and be less stressed, which means you can show up more fully in the areas and with the people you care about.
Hey, sounds like progress to me.
Love you lots. Have a great week.
❤️ Ian
Ian Estabrook 