My alarm went off at 4:40 a.m. today.
I wanted nothing more than to hit snooze and go back to bed. Despite preparing for an early-morning workout the night before via cooking and packing healthy meals, divvying up supplements, and laying out my clothes, the tempting siren whispered her sleepy song in my ear.
But I got up anyway. Feet on the floor, on my way to down some cold water, take some caffeine, and walk to the gym at work.
Outside, the weather was much colder than usual. My steps seemed slower. The wind was biting through my hoodie. It was still pitch black outside. I greeted the security guard as I badged in.
I was in the middle of my warm up sets at the gym when my phone buzzed. It was my brother, Andy, who was still awake over in the States. Our texts usually consist of funny memes, and we save the substantive convos for phone calls. I asked him why he wasn’t asleep, and texted him the below picture saying, “You already know what’s going down.”
“Insanity,” he said, saying he was in bed after having finished working late. I told him it was a bit harder than usual to get in today, but I just put one foot in front of the other, and here I am.
“I envy your tenacity and go-getter attitude,” he replied. “You want to be like Jocko Willink and friends. I just wanna be like you.”
I just wanna be like you.
—
My brother and I are very different but are also very close.
For those who don’t know our dynamics, Andy is more soft-spoken, introverted, and inclined to the arts and technology. He’s much taller than me with a longer and leaner build. He’s a brilliant musician and built his computer basically from scratch.
Everyone knows I’m basically a bull in a china shop, extroverted, and more inclined to things like sports and fitness.
Given those differences, I was never really mindful of how my gym life impacted my brother – both his perception of me and the impact my actions (which I assumed he wasn’t interested in) had on him.
“I just wanna be like you.”
Reading that filled me with pride. I had tears well up in my eyes – both then and now as I’m writing this. I haven’t seen my brother in months since I’ve left the U.S. and never realized he watched my actions in the gym with such an analytical eye as to what their deeper meanings and drivers are.
It also reminded me of something important – something none of us should forget:
You are always on display.
Even if you think nobody’s watching. Even if you think the interests are yours and aren’t shared with those not like you. You are always on display. I wouldn’t have had the privilege of being reminded of this had I hit snooze this morning and skipped my workout.
The call to action is clear: Be the best you can be in whatever you do, because you never know who might wanna be like you, too.
I told my brother I loved him and to sleep well.
I won’t be hitting snooze tomorrow.
Love you all. Have a great day.
Ian
This post was originally published on September 26th, 2017
Ian Estabrook 