While on a flight bound for Dublin from Munich, I finished reading “Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win,” by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. It was my second time reading the book, as I wanted to revisit the core principles the authors discussed and understand how I could continue applying them in my own life.
As I put the book on the empty seat next to me, my window-seat mate glanced down at it.
“Are you in the Army?” he asked.
I smiled and said, “No, I’m not. But I think it’s good to learn about their principles. It’s my second time reading it. Just wanted a refresher on some things.”
“I see,” he replied. “Do you mind if I have a look?”
“Of course.”
He picked up the book and began reading the back and inside flaps. He turned to me and put the book back while showing me the book he was reading – “I Fought at Dunkirk.”
“I like military stuff,” he said. “And books about business.” He took out a small slip of paper from his book and began writing down the info for Extreme Ownership.
“Saving it for later?” I asked.
“Yeah, it looks like a great read,” he replied.
“Why don’t you have my copy?” I offered. “Like I said, I’ve already read it twice.”
“Ah, mate, I couldn’t. You don’t have to do that.”
“I insist. Please, have it. I hope you enjoy it.”
I handed him the book and we both smiled. He nodded his approval and began reading the preface.
After landing, we started talking about work, family, and what we got up to on our weekends away.
He grew up in England. He was in Salzburg this weekend, visiting childhood friends that lived with him while he was working in Budapest. He currently works as a copyright analyst and loves it because it’s a remote role, and that affords him the freedom to travel. He and his girlfriend are discussing having their first child.
We chatted up through passport control, where his EU passport and my non-EU passport would force us to part ways.
“It was great to meet you,” he said. “By the way… What’s your name?”
“Ian. Yours?”
“Phil. It was great meeting you, mate. Thanks for the chats.”
“My pleasure,” I said. “Enjoy the book.”
We shook hands, and then we were off.
———
I love serendipitous moments like these. I especially love them when gifts – physical or abstract – can be given, or value created, for one or both parties.
In this case, I had learned many valuable lessons from my two read-throughs of Extreme Ownership: maintaining discipline in key areas of life, effectively leading up and down the chain of command, and the value of a plan being simple and not just sexy, to name a few.
I have learned these principles. I have lived them in my daily life. Now, through this chance encounter, I have the opportunity to pass them on to someone else. To help them learn. Grow. Flourish. Hopefully, when the time comes, Phil can pay it forward to someone in his life that needs it.
The concept of paying it forward was taught to me by many mentors – formal and informal. In books and in person. It is something I take pride in, and a core part of my personal values. And here’s the great thing: paying it forward is universal, and it comes in all shapes and sizes.
For me, it might be helping someone with an exercise in the gym, editing a piece of written work, or, in this case, gifting a book to a complete stranger-turned-acquaintance.
What about you? What does paying it forward look like for you?
Is it teaching in a classroom? Volunteering at a local charity? Lending a hand to someone you know can’t repay you? Playing an instrument? Painting a unique piece of art?
Whatever it is, we all possess unique talents and interests that the world can benefit from being introduced to. We’re all presented with opportunities to positively impact other people’s lives. I’d like to encourage you all to take advantage of your gifts and those opportunities whenever you can.
Learn. Live. Pay it forward.
We’re all better off when we do.
Ian
This post was originally published on July 15th, 2019
Ian Estabrook 